We often think of taking care of our aging moms, as they outlive dad by seven or more years. However, many women who today outlive their husbands are looking to their girlfriends, and other social supports that they’ve nurtured throughout their lifetime to sustain a sense of community and connectedness.   In fact, with friends aplenty, widows chose singlehood even while they grieve for their spouses, and experience loss – many for the rest of their lives.

In a strange twist of fortune — some might call it poetic justice — age can bring with it something of a reversal in gender roles. The rise of an old girls’ network, friends and family who see women through a lifetime of transitions, often contrasts sharply with the decline of the old boys’ network, the professional associations that secure young men’s places in the world but offer little support or solace in later life.

I talked with best selling author, Janis Spring, PHD, who is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness, to talk about her just-released book called Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent (Avery Penguin).

Released on April 30, 2009, her true story and lessons learned takes place in an independent living facility in West Hartford, CT.

This book reflects Janis’ story as told through her professional eyes as both a clinical psychologist and her personal experience as a daugher of an aging dad.

If you’re a daughter or daughter-in-law,  this podcast with Janis will ring true to you as a caregiver.  As a recent Washington Post article explained, for years, economists warned that women entering the work force would become unavailable as unpaid caregivers for the elderly. Plausible — but untrue. Family caregiving continues at high levels, though more than half of adult children who help elderly parents also work full time, and 10 percent part time. That can exact a steep toll. And more than 70% of caregivers are women, including daughters.

Please go to our on-line radio show home page and listen to one my favorite “coffee table” talks.  Find out what makes this book a breakthrough in caregiving, and discover one woman’s story that may help you make sense of your own.

Go to our radio show page  or listen right on this page to our conversation.